A Wedding in Conflict

Issue of the week #6

Note: The following letter was sent to us by a visitor to our site. We invite others to share their viewpoints with us.

Dear Two Roads,

My (Jewish) cousin is going to marry a Catholic man and this has divided our family. My folks will attend the reception but not the ceremony (after speaking with one of their Rabbis), but my aunt (an aunt of the engaged cousin) is refusing to have anything to do with her niece. I disagree with that approach entirely for so many reasons and feel sick about the whole thing. My mother is supporting my cousin out of deference to her sister, but agrees with the other sister that Michelle (cousin) should be written off of the family. Miriam (the aunt) said she would sit Shiva if it were her child, but I don't see that as a practical solution. How could we expect Michelle to raise a Jewish family if her own has ostracized her? I would appreciate any advice you have.

Thanks.

Questions to ponder:

• Would you go to the wedding?

• Do you agree with the aunt (Miriam) who would sitshiva (Mourn) if it were her own child?

• Can Michelle be expected to raise a Jewish family if parts of her own family have ostracized her?

• Is there anything this couple can do to ameliorate this situation and placate the non-supportive aunt?

• Any advice for the writer of this letter?